


moonlight

by herillusion



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:42:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22131244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herillusion/pseuds/herillusion
Summary: He woke up disoriented, as usual, but calmer than he tended to be. The reason for that soon made itself evident, as he reached out and found his fingers entangled with calloused hands much warmer than his own. It was still dark out, but Claude’s green eyes shone in the dim light. There was no attempt at any explanation on his part, Claude just kept humming softly, as he presumably had been before Dimitri woke up. The melody was unfamiliar to him, but he thought it might have been intended to be a lullaby.written for day 4 of dimiclaude week! the prompt was scars/healing
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan
Comments: 8
Kudos: 49





	moonlight

The nightmares weren’t new, he had had them for years, since the tragedy. He always tried to keep himself silent when they happened but it rarely ever worked – he’d figured that out when they first started at the Academy, from the looks he got from Sylvain the next morning. It left everyone treading on eggshells around him, because if his dark eye circles didn’t clue them in, Sylvain being careful to avoid teasing him definitely did. He knew his friend was trying to be kind in his own way, that he didn’t know how else to deal with it. 

It didn’t help that Dimitri himself didn’t know what he wanted. He wanted to pretend everything was fine, but it wouldn’t have worked out that way even if everyone had played along. He would be alternately quieter or more short tempered than usual, the disturbed sleep exacerbating the severity of his headaches. He knew that if he asked to be excused the professor would readily agree, considering how they had agreed with Dedue when Dedue had been trying to convince him to rest more.

But he didn’t want the concern and pitying gazes he knew it would get him. Whatever would the other students think, if they heard of his weakness? Besides, he knew it wouldn’t help anything to try to sleep more, when it would just end up in him having more nightmares. It was an unfortunate cycle, but he was resigned to living with it. Perhaps it was the price he had to pay, for being the sole survivor of the tragedy. 

He could have lived without the voices, frankly, but it was just another thing he kept to himself, along with his lack of taste. He had warned Claude vaguely before they went to bed, so the other man wouldn’t be alarmed and think intruders had broken in, but it seemed like that hadn’t kept the other man away like he’d expected it to.

He woke up disoriented, as usual, but calmer than he tended to be. The reason for that soon made itself evident, as he reached out and found his fingers entangled with calloused hands much warmer than his own. It was still dark out, but Claude’s green eyes shone in the dim light. There was no attempt at any explanation on his part, Claude just kept humming softly, as he presumably had been before Dimitri woke up. 

The melody was unfamiliar to him, but he thought it might have been intended to be a lullaby. He wasn’t sure whether to feel embarrassed or touched, that he had to be coaxed back to sleep like a child, but he decided to save his questions for the daytime anyway. He knew he could be stubborn, although he liked to think he listened to people’s opinions when it was important, but so was Claude.

He had been someone steadfast, despite his reputation, who had held onto his dreams and ambitions despite all the turmoil and managed to make something of them after endless hard work. He unthinkingly ran his fingers from Claude’s hand along his arm, where a long thin scar lay. It was almost invisible unless you looked at it closely under direct sunlight, and he probably wouldn’t have noticed it if not for the time they had spent slowly exploring each other’s bodies. 

Claude had to convince him into it – not that he took much convincing, all in all. He knew Claude would never push him to do anything he explicitly said he didn’t want to, but the man excelled in pushing him out of his comfort zone. Or rather, making him rethink the boundaries he had set for himself. He’d known Claude wouldn’t judge him for his scars. He had been there throughout the war to witness the worst of him, after all, when he had truly lost himself in the haze of revenge. 

He didn’t like to think back on that time, but he was grateful his friends and allies had stuck by him regardless. What were physical scars, when the emotional ones had been so much worse? Though they hadn’t been visible to anyone until years of hiding his pain had proven futile, in the end. He could still vividly remember the taste of regret of his tongue, the disappointment in the way Felix had looked at him. 

That relationship was still in the process of being rebuilt – perhaps it would never quite be the same as what they once had, but he knew that it was something valuable, the chance they got to do so. After all, some people never would. He had been told over and over that there wasn’t anything he could have done, that Edelgard had been too set on her path to listen to reason. It didn’t change the way it hurt, when he thought of the young girl who he had once gifted a dagger and how things had ended up for her.

But nostalgia and regrets aside, the thought of baring himself to someone’s eyes, to willingly subject himself to that kind of scrutiny...it had felt odd. He had agreed, in the end, since it would be reciprocal. He knew it cost Claude to make the offer too, but he hadn’t expected anything less from the other man. He would never ask of Dimitri what he himself wouldn’t do. Ultimately, Dimitri couldn’t deny his own curiosity, to take his time to know a man he had fallen for against all odds. 

But then again, how could he not have? He was well aware of the expectations, of him producing a heir and carrying on the line of succession. But with time, he was hoping Claude’s dream of a better world would come to pass, and that it would be a world where heirs could be chosen by more than just Crests or blood, but ability. He had discovered the scar during that slow exploration, where Claude had been sprawled casually in bed as if he had all the time in the world to spare.

It hadn’t been the case of course – neither of them would ever have the luxury to fully take time away from their responsibilities without leaving anyone with means to contact them in case of emergencies. But they managed to make time for each other, regardless. He had been fair near ordered to by his healers, in fact. Mercedes had been one of the voice gently chiding him for overworking himself, and humiliating as it had been to have Claude summoned behind his back, he couldn’t deny his gratitude, that his downward spiral had been caught before it could get any further. 

Sometimes he got too focused on all the work piling up that he would ignore all the symptoms and warning signs until he had a relapse again. Seeing Claude always made him happy, and as much as his friends tried to keep an eye on him, they had their own lives to live. They knew Claude would keep an eye on him, and it didn’t hurt that Claude had the handy excuse of diplomatic discussions when he visited the palace. 

Not all the time they spent together was in the bedroom, of course. But the portion of it that was - he would never get over how it felt, to have Claude’s full attention focused on him like that. He had always gave off an air that he was listening raptly to your every word, which was what made him such a people person. It wasn’t always heartfelt or sincere on his part, but Dimitri had a lot of practice in telling the difference by now. It was addicting, to feel that someone cared about what you said.

But having that attention on him in the bedroom felt distinctively different, in a way he found hard to describe. He had got gotten distracted by it before in council meetings, which Claude had teased him about afterwards. Claude made him feel cherished and valued, with both words and actions, which was something Dimitri tried his best to learn from and reciprocate. He wasn’t sure how successful he was at it, but he tried not to worry about it too much. He had to trust that Claude would tell him if he needed anything more.

He might not be as much of a mess like Dimitri had been, he knew Claude had his own scars as well, little as he liked to speak of them. He knew Claude struggled with trust even now, but he’d promised to no longer hide anything from Dimitri even if he thought it would be better for him. Sometimes he would withhold the truth for a time, but Dimitri could live with a ‘I can’t tell you right now, but I will eventually’. 

Although Claude wasn’t the type of person who was good at vocalizing his wants, at least those that were more than something shallow like his craving for a particular food, Dimitri knew he had been trying. He knew how important it was to Dimitri, who was prone to self doubt due to his lack of romantic experience. It wasn’t as if Claude had dated many people before Dimitri either – nothing serious, according to him. 

But Claude had always been better at social situations than he had, being able to pick up on cues more quickly. How much of that had been developed out of sheer necessity, Dimitri didn’t know, but as much as he wished Claude could have had a happier childhood, he couldn’t regret everything that happened to bring them to where they were now. Despite all the tragedy they had been through, they had managed to find each other. Even now Claude was by his side, comforting him even without him asking, helping him to heal slowly. He knew he would never be able to fully express his gratitude for the patience Claude had shown him. But he hoped that his own presence helped Claude to heal as well.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm on twitter [here](https://twitter.com/llanzhan)!
> 
> if the lullaby bit sounds familiar btw,it was based a little off [this headcanon](https://twitter.com/Pillow_boi/status/1209262307240488960)


End file.
